Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Deathclaws and the Jess Plague

As I sit here on my couch in some of the most excruciating pain I have been in in my life, waiting for my PS3 system update to finish before I can do anything on the PS3 to distract me from the pain, I decided a blog was in order. Why am I in so much pain? Without grossing you out with the gory details of the damage that the hell-demons are doing inside my mouth, I will simply say that I have come down with a nasty virus we are dubbing "Jess Plague." It started out a week ago as a boo-boo on my lip and has spread through the rest of my oral cavities complete with fever, tonsillitis, and pain. Lots and lots of pain. The only other time I can remember being in so much pain was after spinal surgery when I was 14. In fact, I've been in so much pain, I haven't even felt like playing video games. *gasp* I know. 

Here's a conversation between me and Boyfriend the other night while I was playing video games:

Me: (Playing Fallout New Vegas for the umpteenth time) OH SHIT!!!

Boyfriend: (In the kitchen, head in the fridge) Deathclaw?

Me: Fuck! Oh shit! Oh god, oh god, oh god. NO NO NO!!! DIE!!!

Boyfriend: Yup, I thought I knew that "oh shit" that's the "Deathclaw oh shit."

Me: There were only two of them but I didn't see them coming.

Boyfriend: You never do.

Me: Wait, you could determine that I have an "oh shit" strictly for Deathclaws versus any other "oh shit" I may say?

Boyfriend: Pretty much.

Me: I love you.

And then Boyfriend made me dinner. A sad little dinner of buttered noodles that I had to sort of gum slowly to eat. I hate the Jess Plague.

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