You know how you look up to someone, you admire their work, you strive to emulate them and to fight harder to be stronger and be a better person because of them, and then you get a chance to meet them, and they are just as amazing in person as you dreamed they would be? That. Just. Happened.
My pre-ordered copy of Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) came as it was supposed to, brightening my day as I ripped open the box like a kid on Christmas. I held that book and just caressed its smooth slate cover with the shiny image of Hamlet Von Schitzel smiling up at me.
After I left my office, I hauled ass up to the Barnes & Noble on 86th and Lexington hoping that there wouldn't be a huge line 1 hour before the signing started. On the train ride to the Upper East Side I was having mini bursts of anxiety burnies all over, thinking, "What if I'm not there early enough and the line is too long? What if I'm the only one there and they cancel it? What if I'm the first person there and then everyone stares at me for being the creepy over-eager girl?" I was getting all sweaty on the highly-air-conditioned train car and I thought to my self, "Well, I know what I'm talking about in therapy this week..."
I got to the B&N and meandered my way downstairs to the events room where I was both pleasantly surprised and ever-so-slightly disappointed that I was not the first one there. (I know my conflicting emotions were weirding me out too.) I sat down in the second row and fidgeted the minutes away reminding myself to breathe. One of Jenny's "entourage" of friends who were there for emotional support brought out Copernicus and Juanita Weasel to set on the signing table and a collective gasp/squeal rushed through the ever-growing audience. It was amazing. I got chills seeing how excited everyone else was to be there.
When it was finally my turn to get my book signed and to actually talk to Jenny, the words got stuck in my throat, but I was determined to push past it (I didn't want it to turn into the time I got to meet Matt from The Oatmeal at Comic Con...oh wait, I never told that story. Long story short: I met Matt Inman at NYCC and bought some BobCat pins and was so excited, I just stood there smiling at him and swaying slightly like a grinning idiot. Boyfriend and Matt looked at me expectantly and it got reeeeeally uncomfortable real quick. Finally, Boyfriend nudged me and said, "Are you going to tell him how much you like The Oatmeal..?" Then, overcome by self-consciousness, my brain started working in overdrive suddenly and a rush of random phrases came out of my mouth like when you pinch off a garden hose for a minute and then let it go. Yeah, it was just as awesome as it sounds.)
|Shockingly, he didn't tweet back.|
"I would LOVE to sign your medication bottle. And no it does not sound strange at all."
I knew she would understand. She and her friends were so tickled that they asked to take a picture of Jenny signing my pill bottle! I was truly filled with with so much emotion, it was in danger of spilling out violently. We took a picture together and I thanked Jenny profusely and then darted out of the room into the puzzle/game section of the store where my tears flowed freely.
|Jenny Lawson, you are truly wonderful!|
Short-story-long: I met The Bloggess and it was amazing! Thank you, Jenny for making me laugh through my tears, giving me courage to push through another day and for sharing your Neil Gaiman mantra with us: "Pretend you're good at it." You don't need to pretend, Jenny, we all think you're spectacular!
|My trophyovercoming fear|