I will repeat that. There does not exist a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver vibrator available for retail purchase. Are you kidding me?!?! The world has a sparkling (goddamn sparkling, you guys) icy Twilight dildo but no DOCTOR WHO vibrators?!?!?! WTF internet?!?! You have failed me! I was so flabbergasted by the difficulty of finding such a nerdy obscure sex toy on the internet that I proceeded to lose the next 2 hours of my life to the vortex time suck that is Rule 36.
I was on a mission. I refused to believe that Doctor Who sex toys didn't exist. I needed to know. I needed to find them- not for any personal use- merely on the principle that something with such a massive and cult fandom did not have a plethora of weird kinky shit to go along with it. It's just not normal. I was somewhat correct in my refusal to believe something so nerdy did not have a market for fetishism. I discovered the existence of the "TaRDIS Tickler." Not quite as exciting or pleasing as a vibrating sonic screwdriver, but way more sparkly than that stupid Twi-hard ice dick. (Seriously, if you didn't read the reviews on The Vamp page, you're missing out. Good reads.)
I finally found my answers through the Houston Press and Geek Kink (unfortunately, their Etsy account is no longer active.) There exists a crowd-sourced Sonic Vibrator, but only one Sonic Screwdriver vibrator. The only known Sonic Screwdriver Vibrator I could find in existence was a custom order through Geek Kink. They sell plenty of other items that I'm not shocked exist: TaRDIS BDSM paddles, My Little Pony BDSM paddles (you know, normal Rule 36 stuff) but only one custom 10th Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver vibrator.
|Etsy's got weird shit, you guys.|
Wait a tick-
I honestly wonder what the licensing rights to Doctor Who sonic screwdriver sex toys would cost to procure... Oh my god, I'm sitting on a million dollar idea, you guys! Who knows a good patent & licensing attorney?!
And this is why I never get anything done.